Tuesday, 08 November 2011
One of the biggest criticisms in politics and in life is to call somebody a flip-flopper. Indecisive people are the scum of the earth. Or are they. I’m not completely decided on that yet. I know I don’t like ‘em, though. See, the problem with a flip-flopper is that they can’t be relied upon for something. One day they’re smoking a joint, and 30 years later they’re leading an anti-Marijuana campaign and writing up their old smoke-buddy friends.
It’s betrayal. It’s a betrayal of a cause, and of a friendship. I know I’ll never go back to New Mexico now, even if it was legal for me to do so. I can’t handle the emotional pain. And that’s what it means to be indecisive: you destroy the lives of everybody around you.
I want to tell you a little story. When I was younger, I had a friend named Rick. Rick was small for his age, and not particularly bright. It’s kind of a common set of traits for people named Rick. Anyway, one day Rick and I were going to go to the circus together, but Rick couldn’t go. Turns out, his mom said, Rick got sick. In fact, Rick got so sick that he couldn’t come out to play for a very long time.
After a while, though, he got better and we went for walks and saw shows and played together and it was like Rick had never been sick at all. But then one day Rick couldn’t come out to play, and his mom said he’d never be able to come out to play ever again. Rick had died of polio. I was devastated.
And you know why?
Not just because Rick had died, but because Rick had gotten better and then died. I never forgave Rick for that, and I could never love another person I even suspected of being a flip-flopper. This is why I can’t ever vote Democrat. This, and their morally abhorrent position on women’s rights to choose.
Once you define a position, stick to it and defend it to the death. I don’t care how wrong you are – this is what men do. Anything else makes you a fickle pickle. Fickle pickle, fickle pickle!