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Urination Conversation

If there's one thing everybody in a five mile radius of me knows, it's that my girlfriend pisses like a racehorse. This probably just means she's got a big urethra or something, I don't know. I try not to poke around do…
I don’t Believe in the Clitoris

I’ve never claimed to be a great lover. You can ask my girlfriend that, I’m sure she’ll attest. I rarely buy her flowers, I don’t like chocolates, and I think diamonds are too shiny for her own go…
All Your Questions About the Mushy Pear Answered

There's some joking that goes on at xanga, I know that. I try to keep my blog as serious as possible, but it's impossible to avoid the odd bit of good humor, no matter how hard you try. It can be frustrating, though, whe…
The Vagina Isn’t the Only Self Cleaning Organ

You know, the girlfriend and I don’t talk very often. We can’t, because she’s always in the kitchen, cooking, and yelling strains my voice. But when we do, the subject of hygiene is probably one of our…